Embracing Failure To Succeed
Failure is loosely defined as a lack of success, not meeting an intended objective or disappointment in one’s performance. It can derail our good intentions, sap our positive mindset and paralyze us with fear.
Fear of disappointment. Fear of criticism. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of the unknown. And the list goes on………………………..
But what if I told you that fear and failure no longer need to be a roadblock to you living your fullest potential? What if I told you that when you learn to embrace failure, rather than run from it, you will grow in more ways than you can imagine?
Here’s the thing - both failure itself and the fear of failing is a very normal part of the human experience and none of us get to escape that. However, we do have a choice to make. We can learn to walk with the fear and “do the thing anyway” or we can run from it and miss out on so many incredible opportunities. In life, there is no reward without risk and more importantly, there is no success without failure. When we avoid risk and allow ourselves to become stuck in our “comfort zone” we effectively stifle our own growth. Tal Ben-Shahar, Harvard professor and notable expert in the field of happiness, has said that we must “learn to fail or fail to learn”. When you accept that failure is a normal part of any learning experience you can slowly begin to release the fear surrounding it. Reminding yourself that with every failure you’re that much closer to success is the key is to learning how to “fail forward”. A failure is just a temporary setback, not a permanent roadblock.
So how can you begin to overcome a fear of failure? Start by asking yourself these few simple questions:
What am I really afraid of?
What is the worst thing that could happen?
What if I actually succeed?
Upon reflection, what you will realize is that the fear is less overwhelming than you might have thought and the worst case scenarios are less monumental than you have built them up to be. Continue to remind yourself of what success might look like and focus on best outcomes rather than potential failures. Additionally, try these other tips:
Accept That Failure Is Normal and Healthy - Embrace the idea that failure is a part of life, find the lesson in the setback and continue moving yourself forward.
Talk It Out - Sharing your fears with a trusted friend can offer new perspectives and give you the confidence you need to take a risk.
Adopt a Beginner’s Mind - Approach every new situation as a learning experience and give yourself grace when you stumble. Let go of your perfectionist mindset, you don’t need to get everything exactly right from the outset.
Cost vs. Reward - Remind yourself that if you never try out anything new because of the fear of failing, it will cost you the immense reward of opportunity, experience and growth.
Be Flexible - Shift when needed and be open to doing differently. You may need to get things wrong a few times before you finally figure it out and get it right. That is ok.
The Magic Power of “Yet” - The path to learning and growth is not linear. Rather than focusing on the missteps along the way, remind yourself that you’re just not there………………yet. All good things take time so focus on the journey and keep looking ahead to the “yet” that will eventually become your success story.
Be Afraid But Do The Thing Anyway - It’s ok to feel nervous and afraid when you’re embarking on a new experience and it’s ok to feel like you want to run BUT face the fear and do the thing anyway. No doubt you will surprise yourself and be glad that you took the risk.
The fear and disappointment of failure will never entirely go away however, when we can learn to embrace it rather than run from it we give ourselves the beautiful gift of growth by making every next step we take easier than the last. In the words of Elbert Hubbard, “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one”. So go ahead and make the mistakes, accept the failure, learn the lesson and keep moving forward. Your future self will thank you!
