Keeping Your (Mental) Cool During Summer Break

Ah, summer break. That magical time of year when the sun is shining, the kids are home from school, the days feel endless and by about two weeks in you're just trying to figure out how you’re going to survive until September without losing your mind! You love your kids, of course. But these long, unstructured days can sometimes feel less like a vacation and more like an endurance sport. Each day is a blur of ice pops, pool days and wondering when the heck your kids plan on waking up up for the day. I know the feeling, been there and STILL doing that! As much as we want to make the summer amazing for our kids, it’s also important that we slow down, pause and create some space to care of ourselves. Summer is a long haul and with a little tweaking, you can have more fun and a lot less stress overall.

First things first, you must learn to embrace the chaos, but only the chaos that you’re okay with. Your house is going to be a little louder, a little stickier and probably smell faintly of sunscreen and forgotten string cheese but that’s par for the course in summer. Since you won’t be able to keep the house immaculate every day, learn to let go of the pressure to do so. Instead, designate specific “clean zones” along with a few areas for the mess to thrive such as the backyard, patio or even the bathtub. Hey, don’t knock a good water balloon fight in the tub! Summer will always bring with it a bit of chaos but if you can find a way to embrace some of it, you can let go of the rest of it and be more relaxed and far less stressed over the next few months.

This next one just might be my favorite summer survival tip of all! Introduce an hour a day as quiet time. This practice just for toddlers, it’s as beneficial for older kids as it is for the little ones and it’s good for us parents too! Start by labeling this time in each day as something relaxing and enjoyable such as: Reading Hour, Chill Time or Brain Beak. Then carve out a stretch of the day when everyone goes to a quiet corner of the house and entertains themselves silently. Offer your kids some creative options for this time of the day, especially in the beginning when they will want to default to TV or video games. Activities such as reading, puzzles, coloring or an arts and crafts project is a great place to start. This quiet time is not only a healthy pause in the day for them but a much needed pause for you too. If your kids are anything like mine, they will likely resist at first and probably throw in a whining fit or two as well but stay strong, Mom and Dad! Your kids will learn to adapt and over time they will start to look forward to this break in their day just as much as you. Think how nice it’ll be to get a quiet hour to yourself so you can drink your coffee while it's still hot or finish a thought without someone yelling “MOM!” in the middle of it. Quiet time is total a win-win for all in the house!

I am going to YELL the next tip loud and clear for those in the back! NOT EVERY MOMENT OF SUMMER VACATION HAS TO BE MAGICAL. In fact, it’s okay if sometimes it’s even a little boring. We live in a world where Pinterest boards and Instagram reels would have us believe that summer break should be a nonstop parade of enrichment activities and memory making adventures. Truth bomb? It’s okay to do less. You don’t need to sign your kids up for every camp, or attend every free concert in the park or schedule back-to-back playdates. Summer is a time to slow down, not ramp up. Why make yourself crazy by overscheduling each and every moment of the day? Here’s the truth - kids need space to be bored. In fact, boredom is the secret sauce for creativity. Being bored is an invitation for children to wonder, to find creative solutions to their problems and to create their own kind of fun. It’s in the boring moments where sock puppet shows, backyard obstacle courses or deeply chaotic but somehow super adorable lemonade stands are born. Ironically, less structure leads to less boredom. So give your kids the gift of slower days and empty calendars. Give them the opportunity to create their own fun rather than you killing yourself every day to do it for them. Oftentimes it’s the simpler moments of summer fun that are the most memorable and magical.

While we’re on the topic, not only do you need to stop trying to create magic every day but you also need to give yourself permission to lower the bar. Not every day has to be “the best day ever.” Some days will be beautiful and full of laughter and core memories. Other days will be sweaty, snack-fueled and dominated by seemingly endless screen time. Guess what? Both scenarios are perfectly okay! You are not a camp counselor. You are a parent doing your best and guess what? Even your “meh” day is still a memory in the making for your kids. So cut yourself some slack, take summer day-by-day and let it all unfold in whatever way works best for you and your kids in the moment.

Last, but absolutely not least, remember that YOU matter too. You’re the one that’s holding the whole summer together and that can be exhausting so make time to prioritize yourself. Whether it’s waking up a bit earlier to take a quiet walk, or meeting up with a friend for a break or simply indulging in a solo trip to the grocery store you must be sure to find your moments. Recharge in whatever little way that you can throughout the summer so that you’re not running on emotional fumes. The old adage, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”, still holds true. Taking care of you creates a better you for your kids.

With every sweaty, hot, crazy, fun day put a smile on that face and remind yourself to laugh. A lot. Because if you don’t laugh when your kid turns your blender into a fountain or decide to “wash the dog” with your shampoo and a garden hose, what else are you going to do? These are the messy, ridiculous, surprisingly beautiful years and someday you’ll miss them (even the parts you swore you wouldn’t). So hang in there, summer warrior. You’ve got this! And if all else fails, there's always popsicles. For them and for you.