Shifting Purpose and Meaning in Midlife
For this month’s blog post I wanted to share something a bit different with my readers. Rather than write on a specific topic, I wanted to offer one of my academic journal reflections centered around how purpose and meaning shift throughout our lives, particularly in midlife. My hope is that my experiences resonate with other women grappling with how to define their next chapter. I would like to extend a gentle invitation to consider the below question for yourself and perhaps journal your own thoughts and feelings.
Think back on how your purpose in life has shifted over your lifetime. What has impacted those shifts?
When I reflect on my life, most of my shifts over the years were a byproduct of aging and maturing, my life followed a natural progression where I didn’t have to think specifically about purpose. Life simply unfolded for me. In my teens, I spent most of my time focused on my boyfriend (now husband) and doing well enough in school to get into college. My twenties were about fleeing the nest to be on my own, getting married, and saving to pay down debt and buy a house. My thirties were focused on starting a family which unfortunately also brought the stress of infertility treatments before finally getting pregnant and giving birth to my two children. While each of these decades were purpose driven in their own unique way, it wasn’t until my forties that I had the most significant and impactful shift. This decade came with a lot of change – an out-of-state move, the COVID pandemic, health issues, and having to manage the extreme stress of my husband’s burnout at work. That forced me to reevaluate things in my life and for the first time ever, actively work to discover my purpose outside of the scripted life framework. I began to question everything about who I was, what life was about, what I wanted, and what really mattered to me going forward.
In pondering my life, I started to wonder what the next half would look like and what my purpose was beyond being a wife and mother. I love those two roles, but deep within me I had the realization that I needed something more for myself in addition to that. My kids were growing up so quickly and my role as stay-at-home mom would be no more. And then what? How would I fill my time and my days if I didn’t have kids to care for 24/7? What would I do with myself every day? What I knew for sure was that when the time comes for my kids to go out into the world on their own, I don’t want to be left behind feeling directionless and empty inside. I know that when they go it will be bittersweet – a mix of excitement for them and sadness for me, but I concluded that I could ease that transition by preparing myself now for what was coming later. That desire to find meaning and purpose in midlife is what led me to where I am today.
Back in early 2022, I made the decision to enroll in a coaching program with ILCT to become an ICF Certified Life Coach, something that I felt was a great fit with my background in Psychology and would allow me to work from home. Throughout that process, I also began doing a lot of reading on my own in the field of Positive Psychology and I took a fast interest in the field. That led me to study with the Wholebeing Institute and The Happiness Studies Academy to earn my Positive Psychology Coaching certification. In the background, I was quietly launching my coaching business, developing my website, and hustling to find a few new clients. Earlier this year, I decided that it was time to return to graduate school for a second Masters degree and that brought me to PCOM. The MAPP program seemed like the most natural next step on my journey and would solidify my competency as a Positive Psychology Practitioner. This journey over the last (almost) four years has given me so much purpose, meaning, and joy in my life. I wake up every day feeling so fulfilled, it’s like I found the missing piece of my puzzle to feel fully whole. I have learned to embrace midlife and instead of looking ahead with dread because I am getting older, I now look ahead with hope, zest, and optimism for what’s next. I am so proud of myself for pushing out of my comfort zone, taking risks, and chasing my dreams while still balancing my responsibilities at home and being the best mom and wife, I could be. I have an amazing family, I have found my true purpose and passion in life, and I am truly happy.
I have loved every age, stage, and chapter in my life because it gave me the experience, wisdom, and resilience to grow myself in ways that I didn’t think were even possible. I am grateful for every up, down, success, failure, and disappointment because it taught me how to appreciate the good, weather the storms, and live in greater alignment to my values and purpose. I am excited to continue on my journey of self-improvement and purposeful living because there is so much more to look forward to. Fifty isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning of everything else that is still possible!
