How To Tame Your Stress Response

Lately it feels like almost everyone is dealing with some level of stress or overwhelm, especially in this post-pandemic world that we’re all trying to navigate. But what exactly is stress and how can we learn to reduce, prevent and even avoid it in our daily lives so that we can thrive? Let’s dive in.

Stress is an instant response to a perceived threat which then triggers your body into fight, flight or freeze mode. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing when it shows up in brief doses. Just imagine if you were alone in the woods being chased by a bear, your body’s stress response would thrust you into immediate action and consequently save your life. However, it’s when we get permanently stuck in this stress response mode where problems arise. Prolonged chronic stress can lead to insomnia, an inability to concentrate, anxiety, an increase in addictive behaviors, lack of emotional regulation and exhaustion. Left unchecked, stress can result in more severe issues such as heart attack. The good news is that when you focus on building your resiliency, you can recover from chronic stress and slowly began to reclaim your life.

Let’s start with a simple formula for dealing with chronic stress - The 5 R’s of Resiliency

• Reassess - Taking a “big picture” look at your life to determine where you want to go and if you have the resources to get there

• Reduce - Finding ways to slowly minimize and reduce your overall stress load

• Reframe - Adjusting your beliefs, attitudes and expectations regarding your work and home life

• Replenish/Recharge - Regularly implementing proper self-care practices to restore and protect your life energies

• Realign - Adjusting your behaviors and actions for better outcomes

Reassessing your life requires you to take a pause and really think about where you’d like to see yourself in the future and then figuring out what needs to change for you right now in order to get there. One way to accomplish this is by reflecting on what has worked (or not worked) for you in the past and then figuring out how you can apply that knowledge going forward.

Reducing your stress requires you to take small steps towards doing differently throughout your day. Perhaps, you pause every hour for five minutes to take a break from your desk. Or schedule a twenty minute lunch with yourself where you step away, disconnect and enjoy your meal in silence. Clear your head and refocus yourself by taking a fifteen minute “sniffing walk” where you go outside into nature with no electronics and simply breathe, be present and notice your surroundings.

Reframing starts with the understanding that stress comes from our perception of the events that take place around us. When you learn to shift the way you see and/or handle things, you can begin to calm your stress response. For example, instead of allowing yourself to become overwhelmed with deadlines because you believe that everything must be done right at this moment, take a pause to think about what really needs to get done and what can wait or even be deleted from your day. Feeling stressed by the constant back and forth of a group text? Stop picking up the phone and engaging. Instead, place your phone on silent and go about your day rather than allowing yourself to take in all of that negative energy. These are small choices that can have a big impact on your stress load.

Replenishing/Recharging is critical to your body’s ability to function optimally. Self-care practices need to be both regular and consistent for them to be effective. You cannot take a walk once a month or eat well only on weekends and then expect to be at your best. Additionally, the occasional bubble bath or beach vacation isn’t nearly enough of a recharge to reduce stress as these types of things are considered a sporadic luxury. In order to properly recharge your energies you must:

• Get adequate rest, hydration, nutrition and daily movement

• Manage your moods, focus on the good in your life and get out of reactive mode

• Allow ample time to challenge your mind - puzzles, books, games, hobbies, playing an instrument

• Practice mindful breathing, participate in yoga or another meditative activity, start a gratitude journal or spend time in nature

• Spend time with family and friends, talk to a stranger, volunteer your time or join a club of like-minded individuals

Realigning requires that you ask yourself if the way in which you’re leading your life is working for you. If not, what needs to change so that you are in greater alignment with what you want for yourself in the future? What behaviors do you need to adjust, delete or replace so that you are not in constant stress mode going forward?

Overcoming a chronic stress state is a slow and steady process. You cannot undo years of stress and overwhelm in a matter of weeks or even months in most cases. You begin the process of healing by first asking yourself what you need to do differently in order to thrive. Once you have that self-awareness, you can start to make the necessary changes for yourself. You will want to go slow in the beginning and take just one small step forward. Maybe that small step is taking a break throughout your work day or giving yourself some quiet time at night to decompress. Maybe it’s getting up fifteen minutes earlier to enjoy your cup of coffee without rushing through the morning. Whatever you choose to do should be something that is respectful of yourself, reasonable to implement given your available resources, responsible and realistic. As you become comfortable with these new changes, layer in another small step and see how it goes. If it feels like too much, pull back and try again at another time. Remember, this isn’t a race. Go at your own pace, know that each step forward is a small victory, and in time you will feel the heaviness of your stress slowly begin to give way.

“When we learn how to become resilient, we learn how to embrace the beautifully broad spectrum of the human experience.”

- Jaeda Dewalt